Few days ago when a
friend of mine and I were having a chat. This chat was nothing extra-ordinary
but it left both of us thinking for days together. It was about our dreams,
dreams that are free from professional or personal burden and are just dreams,
our dreams.
Interestingly we
shared same dream, we wanted to work for 'child sexual abuse', neither the
victim nor cases but simply child sexual abuse. As among us he is the curious
one, he immediately started the reserach work and came out with names of a few
organisations that were dealing with the problem. But sadly he could came
across organisations that welcomed only women or girls, victims or volunteers.
It was shocking that how even organisations that deal with the grave issue are
not even open to the idea that when its about children, boys are equally
vulnerable.
Statistics say that
1 out of every 3 girls has seen some kind of abuse and 1 out of every 5 boys
faces abuse before he crosses 18. Now, like you even I don't believe on these
figures, but just because you don't rely on numbers, it does not mean that the
problem does not exist. For those who don't believe it, study Congo currently
crowned as rape capital of the world. You will realise how even men are being
raped there. Yes, men who are tall, young and we believe are there to protect
women are also going through the same pain.
I still remember
Oprah Winfrey's show where once she invited males who have seen abuse as a
child. No matter from whom but they have. I was stunned and felt bad at the
same time that situation is equally bad even today with no knowledge, no help.
The worst thing
that I came across in my study so far was reaction of our surroundings. How it
differs from women to men. Women still receive compassion, support and sympathy
in some or the other form but males, what about them? Specially in patriarchal
society like ours where masculinity has a definite definition. It doesn't
allows males to play the victim but certainly he has all the right to play the
devil.
Now the point is
how to fulfill our dream? How to learn and help because dealing with the
problem is a bigger task than what we all can even imagine.
I thought about
this a lot had word with many (people from different age groups and lifestyles)
and came to conclusion that we just cannot kill this. But we can reduce the
number of children whose childhood gets raped before even they realise what the
word 'rape' stands for.
The only way we can
come over this is by educating our children as soon as possible. I know
educating is the problem. It involves delicate questions like what is the right
time, at what age, how should we do it so that there are negative effects on
the child's brain and many more.
But then I say that
was what exactly my friend and I wanted to learn, teach and help ourselves
with.
At the end I would
like to share a very well written article that I feel is a must read for
whosoever is reading mine.
Note:
* I am not
interested in explaining how a child feels after the incident. How he/ she
becomes a victim for life. But if you really want to understand just have a
look around because numbers not necessarily are always wrong.
*To the victims who
are reading, its good if you come out and do what you think is best to free
yourself. As I don't practically believe in theory of forgiveness so I would
have done whatever I thought would have been best for me. But make sure that
whatever you do should pave a way for others to learn, for good... coz God has chosen you for spreading goodness around.
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