Monday, 28 November 2011

Is it Me or You?

I never understand why the world is the way it is? I mean why men have certain role to play and women the other certain. Even if according to stories Eve was the one who ate the apple and was punished for the same. Why women are physically weak and they are made to pay for it in every possible manner? When I look back, am reminded of some incidences with some particular people am always like 'Really am I living in the 21st century?'

For this I would like to share some instances. Instances because I don't have any solution or opinion because I believe am a part of both 'the solution and the opinion'.

So, to begin with am a part of a family where father thinks a woman is born for a man and has no use in this world besides giving birth to children. Whereas my mother thinks a woman has all the right to be herself on her own always. And then there is this young daughter who is a rebellion when it comes to her respect and status in the society. 
Thinking of my father definitely disappoints me and I believe his change in attitude could have made our lives better. 

Then I had this dear friend whom I left because of his thoughts about women. I would like to share this particular conversation that confirmed his deletion from my book of life. We were just talking about our plan for life ahead. He like most of the men said, ' Since I am already in a good job and will see promotion would like to marry a beautiful girl and get settled.' And I was like yeah man you mean pretty, fair and dumb girl who should only listen to you and should not utter a word all through her life. Then came my turn and I said, I would like to establish myself and then will enjoy my life and sleep with whom so ever I like but he just blurted 'what you'll be a slut'? and I was like Helloooo who are you to tag me.... 
So, this instance told me even those guys who belong to well-educated families are unable to digest a woman of her own choices. It is also very disappointing because when you look around and find so many well-mannered men around you can never be certain about what they will teach their children and how will they keep their wives.

With this I am reminded of a particular article that my friend shared with me recently. I must say that it was a thought provoking piece by a blogger. This made me realize how men behave even in love towards their ladies which instead of making them feel stronger makes them feel inferior.

This also reminds of some stances that I read in a book recently. Author of the book rightly remarks that in various countries why women face problems is because their are judged on the basis of their virginity and then to how many sons she gives to the family. The problem is in many parts of our society even today people don't think of women more than a machine for giving birth. And her virginity is such a big issue of honour for men that they choose women, the easy victim. Probably that's why Congo has become the rape capital of the world. Not only this but just to keep male hunger satisfied nobody stops lower class girls being forced into prostitution.

Also, the author gave another interesting yet worth noticing fact which said in the aggressive countries like America, Afghanistan and many more that have male surplus population increase in even 0.01% of male population can lead to up to 4% increase in conflict.

Recently, I attended a workshop on 'Gender and Sexuality' where even though I went with some different agendas on my mind but fortunately ended up learning much more. I learnt about behaviours that since birth of the girl child make her feel inferior. Nobody answers us in time about periods, masturbation, sex and nobody gives us logic behind why a guy roaming only in bermudas is fine but not a girl. 

I hope above instances gave you some insight of how mena nd this society hampers our growth.

According to me fortunately or unfortunately solution lies in two things:
*Women should respect women (no matter what)
I reached this conclusion after a lot of thinking and discussions. But to give a reason what I have is I have often seen well- qualified women who give those same remarks  many times 'look at her, what is she wearing, it looks so vulgar' or a girl who dates two-three guys is characterless... why do we have to comment..why?

*I believe we have the power to teach men around us that we deserve our share of respect. So, we can work on this like I am doing with my dad.

But yes I do not deny the fact that this time our change requires you dear men <3 to change.

*This Blog is part of the Men Say No Blogathon, encouraging men to take up action against the violence faced by women. More entries to the Blogathon can be read Join further conversation on &